Poll || Living With Parents
Hello all! I would like to draw your attention to the polls on the right ------> . Young adults living at home is a topic that interests me because that is exactly the state I'm in! Never having moved out, I can't imagine life any other way. However, I'm learning that being a family of three adults is different than being a family of two adults and one child. This has me curious about the experience of others in the same situation and wondering in what ways the transition from child to adult at home can be a joyful time.
To start a discussion about this topic, I made the polls to assist research. This is something in which I would like a lot of interaction with you, readers! So, please enter the polls (I apologize for the difficulty of reading the text - please select it to make easier to read! :( ) and be sure to answer each one, unless the last doesn't apply to you.
If you are ready to share more on the topic in the comments section, please do so! What have been your experiences with this time in life? Though most of my readers are ladies, feel free to join in if you are a guy who happens upon this post. Later, I plan to write a post on my findings. Thank you in advance for your participation!
My son, hear the instruction of your father,
And do not forsake the law of your mother;
And do not forsake the law of your mother;
For they will be a graceful ornament on your head,
And chains about your neck.
And chains about your neck.
Proverbs 1:8-9
I'll be very interested to see what you write Paige!
ReplyDeleteI actually participated in a study through the University of New Mexico (don't know why that school was doing a study in my state--I'm 13 hours away from NM) that dealt with this topic exactly. They have not published their results yet so I'll be curious to see yours!
I get a lot of raised eyebrows when people learn I live at home still but don't pay rent, etc. My parents have become very good about quickly mentioning that they are delighted to have me at home as long as I want to/am single.
My older sister also lived with the family until she was 29 though she did start paying rent a year or so before she moved out. So my parents have had plenty of practice dealing with people who think we are freeloaders.
In my experience adults living with their parents can be difficult and awkward but also a huge blessing. Not many people can say that their best counselors are less than a second away!
Thanks! Oh, that's interesting! I once participated in a medical school study about underage drinking...not sure whatever became of that, haha.
DeleteThanks for sharing about your experience! Your parents sound a lot like mine. :) That's a really good point you make about your best counselors being so close!
We feel blessed that our son's lived with us until they were 26 our oldest son got married and he and his wife come to our home every weekend to spend time together. Our youngest was also 26 when he got a home located on the premises that he works, he also comes home on the weekends he does not have to work. We feel as long as you love each other and enjoy being together you should cherish the moments that you can with your parents or son's or daughters. Paige just enjoy your parents as much as you can until your special someone comes into your life. Then you can share them together. Good topic to share. Stephanie
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this Stephanie! I'm happy to hear about your relationships with your sons and daughter-in-law. I think your family and my family has something that many don't these days. Thank you for the sweet advice. :)
DeleteI live at home, wouldn't be opposed to moving out if the opportunity came up (I would love to live with some of my girlfriends... I think that would be a good experience). But since I'm still in college and only working part time it isn't an option, oh well! My parents are very gracious and have never pressured me to move out, although I know they'd be supportive if I did!
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you have supportive parents! :) Yeah, I think if I were to ever move out before getting married (which I'm not planning on at the moment) it would be with a trusted girlfriend/friends!
DeleteHey I love your blog! I was wondering if anyone would check out my blog, I've just started and just share some advice with me and give me some tips. Also if you wanted, you could start following it ;) but any advice would be highly appreciated
ReplyDeleteThanks Kate! Happy blogging. Just remember to write about things you are interested in and it will not become a chore!
DeleteI'm in the part-time live with parents camp (I'm at college for 3 months, home for a month, college for 3, then home or an internship alternating over the summer; for 4 years I was 18 hours away from home and now I'm only 8 :) ). Going back to live with my parents is a weird situation for me, especially the older I get -- in 5 years of college my life is getting progressively more independent, from living in a dorm to living in an on-campus apartment with friends to, now, living off-campus by myself, having my own car to use, and paying rent myself.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I LOVE to go home and spend time with my family for long periods in between semesters, I also often find it depressing to a certain extent. Part of it is I feel cut off, as we live in a rural area that's not where I went to high school. Our church is small, so there's few people around my age with whom to interact. I also don't have a high amount of activity like I do when I'm at school (where I also work and volunteer). I've thought about what it would've been like to be a stay-at-home daughter after high school and realized that I would've had practically no social outlet -- again, our church is small, and while I do some activities with my family outside the home, there's still not much chance to interact with people my own age.
What also disturbs me when I go home is that I revert back to dependence. Going (way far) away from home the past years has forced me to do things for myself -- to get out of my comfort zone in ways that I wouldn't normally choose to do, and which my parents haven't forced when I'm home. I feel like adulthood and maturity has come slowly for me even being on my own, and I can't imagine (for me personally) how difficult it would've been for me to find that had I stayed with my parents full-time.
Thanks for sharing your own experiences Susanna! :) It's interesting to hear about how maturity level/ independence is affected by when you live with or without your parents! :)
DeleteA very interesting topic Paige! I'll keep my eyes open for a post with the results/your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being interested! :)
DeleteCool idea, Paige! I'm a little late entering the conversation so maybe you took the polls down already? I can't seem to find them.
ReplyDeleteI echo a lot of what these other ladies are saying. I did the three months at school one month at home thing and it was hard and awkward. I gained so much confidence and independence in college (I mean, I had to. It was 1000 miles away). and learned a lot. I love my parents and missed them tons, but after my freshman year coming home wasn't the same. It felt like I was reverting back to my twelve year old self, which was partly my fault and partly my parents' fault. I knew that when I graduated I wanted and needed to keep my independence, so I planned on staying in the town where my school was, but God had other plans and I;m back to living at home again.
I still love my parents and am very grateful for their hospitality and letting me live with them for free. All of the money I make at my job goes toward my college loans and saving up for a car, and that has been a huge blessing. At the same time, it has been very difficult. I went from living with three other girls where I was an equal to living with my parents where I am not. It's often the little things, like not being able to take a shower Sunday morning because that is when my mom takes a shower. I come home from a long day at work listening to a radio station I don't like and my dad is blasting music from the stereo that I don't like. Some Saturday mornings I have a plan of all of the things that I am going to get done, then my mom expects me to go to the grocery store with her. Stuff like that. Sometimes the hardest part for me is figuring out if it is something I need to let go (for example it's their house, their shower, and their stereo) or if it is something I need to be firm about. I have had to be firm on some outings I was expected to go on (like their family included bible study party that I'm not apart of). It was hard to say no to them and their reactions weren't always right, but we're making progress. Plus, I have to admit that if I were married things like this would happen as well. I would definitely have more of a say, but being in another situation wouldn't necessarily be better. No matter what, God has used it to make me more like Himself, and that is m ultimate goal anyway. :)
On another note, I have gotten so much flack from people I know about this whole situation. Everyone seems to have an opinion about it. When I shared with people that my goal is to move back to Michigan, I had people tell me nicely that it was a stupid idea and that I should live with my parents for as long as possible to save money and such. Then I have had people criticize me for living at home after graduating from college. I wish I could say that I've ignored them, and mostly I have, but their comments still hurt, especially because of my own inner turmoil regarding the subject. I love my parents and am so thankful to them, but honestly each week can be a challenge in this area.
Sorry that was so long. :) You've definitely given me fodder for a blog post of my own. And I really want to hear your thoughts on this from the perspective of always living at home.
No problem with the long comment! As you have probably now seen, you commented just in time to add you to my post. :) Thanks so much for sharing your personal experiences!
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